Dealing

It seems we were taught in kindergarten how to share.  You shared your crayons and your paste.  You cut out shapes with your safety scissors (green handled for the lefties).  Then one day we become adults and shit got real.  Ppl have forgotten how to share, say please and thank you, be mindful of your neighbor and all those lessons we were taught way back when.  Now ppl really don’t give a f*ck.  Society is in a constant state of me.  All relationships work in this manner.  Add a little romance to the recipe and things get suddenly complicated.  I took some time to reflect on my past relationships, situations, and the like.  I can tell you EVERYTHING that each of those exes did and didn’t do.  I had to laugh.  I was honest with myself.  I realize that they’ve probably said some things about me too that were less than flattering at one point or another. I know I’ve done some really ridiculous things for “love”.   No matter how kind and loving you think you are at some point by someone else’s standards of what love means to them you’ve violated a rule and you’ve hurt them…DEEPLY.  You may think that everyone was taught the concepts of respect, honor, and love.  What you will find that these concepts mean different things to different ppl.  The definitions are skewed depending on environs.  Enter communication.  If you don’t fully explain your position, no one and I mean no one is going to guess or learn by osmosis how you feel or what you think.  Some times you have to delicately teach ppl how you wish to be treated and what you think you know about love.  You will need to listen and hear clearly what’s been said (it is what it is).   This is the only way we are going to evolve.  I have learned that I have grown.  Somewhere through the passage of time it dawned me that I quit wondering, my feelings hurt less, and the tears had dried up.  Time is a magic elixir.  There is a little girl who lives inside me that’s a hopeless romantic who keeps it hidden from the world.   Every now and then if you watch closely you’ll see her smirk.  For now, I deal in the present.  In the present, I am comfortable in this space of time.  Until then…