Reminisce Over You

It’s been 17 years and I still miss you. I find myself wanting to tell you things knowing I cannot pick up the phone and call you. I’ve wondered if that cold breeze I often feel behind my desk chair is you. Soon as it hit March 1st, my thoughts were on you. I began replaying everything in my head. I’ve lost touch with your mom so I have no clue where Porche and Joshua are to even know how they are doing. Ever since your death I’ve always hated St. Patrick’s Day. People get sloppy drunk and all I can think about is wishing you were here. Just one more conversation, one more hug, one roadtrip, one more laugh, one more smile, one more song, one more photograph, one more anything just to spend time with you. I still cannot believe you are not here. You used to talk about singing for the world and how 25 was going to be your year. Now 25 has come and gone. I remember the first time I heard you sing. I was completely floored. I can still recall us walking on Venice Beach along the shoreline and that couple walked passed while you were singing Mary J. Blige’s “Real Love” and just stopped. They stayed there until you were done and then asked me, “Is she someone famous? Should we know her?” I remember going to Miki Howard in concert and on the way, singing Prince’s “Adore”. You said I’d always be right there with you. Yet, you’re not here. I remember when you stood up to my mother. I still have that tape. I haven’t played it in a while. Mary J. Blige will always mean everything to me for so many reason. You are one. “My Life” had just come out when you died. I remember listening to it on the way to your funeral. I knew why you identified with Mary that day. I finally understood. I know you aren’t here but you will always be in my heart. Peace Eternal Angela Michelle Miller.