Agape

I don’t always readily admit my mistakes. I admit I’m stubborn. I jump in with both feet and hold on. Sometimes I don’t know when to let go of things. I was told this repeatedly. I don’t pay attention. You are right about it all. I hadn’t adjusted my thinking. I was still back there. Living in each and every moment not seeing the forest for the trees. The importance of whatever “it” was, I didn’t see “it” clearly for what was there. Trying to turn it into something else because that’s the way I thought it should be. That’s not what it was. For that I apologize fully. I take the weight of that on my shoulders. It has taking me a long time to completely get it. I am such a hardhead. Yep I know. Cliches sound like crap sometimes but there is so much truth there. “Everything has a season……” Seasonal people or Lifetime people. You’ve got to figure out which. What lessons am I learning right now? Is my life being enriched by the presence of this bond? We change, we grow, we love. I don’t know everything, I’m not that smart…nope I am not. But I do know how to learn. I know in my own way I have been sooooo selfish about my heart. It hurt to be open. It hurt to be exposed. My heart has been forever changed because you crossed my path for a moment in time. I appreciate you for that experience. Clarity came too late. I do understand. You are an extraordinary person…yes you are. I hope you do everything you hoped to do, every idea…even the ones on the napkins(one is tucked away…when you make it big I’ll be able to say I knew it). And I am sure that you will. In spite of all my faults & flaws, thank you for putting up with me for as long as you did. I’m an asshole, yep I know that too along I may not readily admit it. I am saying all this to say THANK YOU for what you did, for who you are, for who you will become and for allowing me to see what love could be. I wrote some of my best lines because of you. Whether you knew it or not you were my muse, my blueprint.