You cannot communicate if you aren’t willing to listen. We had a heart to heart yesterday and it really helped. I really heard you and you heard me. Didn’t know how much love was a process of growth but it is. Every day I see why.
Change is a difficult thing and sometimes it does come as easy as I may want it. I am trying and it’s really hard for me. I know I can be stubborn and when I am there is nothing that can shake me. I can admit that. I tend to ask a ton of questions and I will not let up until I get to truth. Sometimes I have a tendency to take this far beyond what’s necessary but when I am on a roll I cannot stop myself. I see this in a lot of scenarios where I know I should have halted. When something is bugging me I cannot let it go if I try it bugs me even more. I really want to get to the bottom of WHY I do this. I am trying to rid myself of all those negative idiosyncrasies that I’ve used as “survival” tactics from my youth. I know alot of what I do is based on past hurt and pain. I am actively trying to heal…it’s work. I have to be honest enough to recognize the problem, admit it, and work on changing it and reacting differently. Yup, I am trying.