Still no word….

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I wish I could just figure out why I feel…like this. You make me nervous and emotional sometimes anxiety overwhelms me. I sit in the midst of a ball of random emotions and I don’t know what to do with the energy. My heart wants to burst but I know I should keep still. Somehow something escapes and in the end I feel like crying. Misunderstood. I guess if it was easy it wouldn’t be RIGHT? I feel like I’m on strings and an entity is playing a joke on me…blah. I just want to figure it out…some ppl tell me that I shouldn’t say or do anything but that would see unfeeling and unemotional and I know that just wouldn’t be me. I used to have such a building not a wall covered with barbed wire a moot and nails and rocks…you get the picture…then all of sudden BAM…I guess you knew how to leap tall buildings. Heart just open…emotions surface on the flesh…transparent and now I don’t know what to do cause I feel so different no frame of reference for this feeling. Now I understand why ppl would try to tell me about ‘love’ but unless you are IN it you have no clue. Everything reminds me of you sometimes I find me pitiful in this regard…like you cannot be this sappy lol. You got me messed up fa real. I wonder if you know just how much. *sighs*