Still no word…

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I wish I could just figure out why I feel like this. You make me nervous and emotional sometimes anxiety overwhelms me. I sit in the midst of a ball of random emotions and I don’t know what to do with the energy. My heart wants to burst but I know I should keep still. Somehow, something escapes and in the end I feel like crying. Misunderstood. I guess if it was easy it wouldn’t be RIGHT? I feel like I’m on strings and an entity is playing a joke on me…blah. I just want to figure it out. Some people tell me that I shouldn’t say or do anything but that would seem unfeeling and unemotional and I know that just wouldn’t be me. I used to have a building not a wall covered with barbed wire, a moat, and nails, and rocks. You get the picture and then all of sudden BAM! I guess you knew how to leap tall buildings. Heart just open, emotions surface on the flesh, transparent, and now I don’t know what to do. I feel so different, no frame of reference for this feeling. Now, I understand why people would try to tell me about ‘love’ but unless you are IN it you have no clue. Everything reminds me of you sometimes I find me pitiful in this regard like you cannot be this sappy lol. You got me messed up fa real. I wonder if you know just how much. *sighs*