If you are not ready to experience love, don’t ask for it. You have to be whole and complete to fully embrace everything love has to offer. If you aren’t ready for it, don’t look for it. Until you are ready to put your whole self into the full experience, it is not for you. Until you have an understanding of communication, you will not be ready to listen. Nothing comes into existence if you not ready to receive it. I need to humble myself and be more open to listening. I think that I am not listening as much as I should be. I need to wait and pause before responding. These are things I still can not do alone. I need understanding….that I don’t have a frame of reference for. My life has been a complete state of confusion. It still is and it seems my past continues to haunt me. Like I have a curse on me to live in a complete state of unhappiness and it is destined to follow me for all my live long days. My examples haven’t been good ones and I’ve had to learn on my own. You know what happens when you are self taught sometimes you miss part of the lesson to be learned. My heart mirrors a jigsaw puzzles and pieces are missing. My spirit is tainted because it’s been abused. My self is not whole because my genetics got too many recessive traits. In some ways I feel remedial. I need a class to teach me what it is I am suppose to do.